So you’ve been getting to know someone special for a while now and you are considering making things official.
You’ve gone to dinners, movie nights, and even met each other’s families and friends. You’re really enjoying the connection you’re building, and things seem to be getting serious. Until your partner had to sit you down for an important conversation.
But, they share that they’re living with HIV, or maybe they mentioned they’re ‘undetectable.’ You sit with that information. You think of that information. What does this mean to you? Have you been infected? Did you not use a condom once? Such information, heavy as it is, has the ability to change your life. This changes everything, but it shouldn’t but it does.
If this is your first time dating someone with HIV, you might feel a bit uncertain about how to process this information. It’s normal to have mixed emotions and questions popping up in your mind.
The good news is that this doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship journey together. Before making any major decisions, take some time to reflect on your feelings and do some research to address your questions.
The most important thing right now is to be honest with yourself and with them. If you need some time to absorb the news, that’s completely understandable. Kindly and respectfully let them know that you’re processing your thoughts, so they understand where you’re coming from. While you may not have a timeline for when you’ll be ready, consider setting a date to check in and share your feelings when you feel more prepared.
Above all, avoid brushing them off or cutting off communication because this sends a message to the person that disclosed. Unfortunately we cannot determine how any person handles being rejected or cut off, nor can we determine how anyone reacts to this news.
By disclosing their HIV status to you, they’ve shown trust and respect for you as a potential partner. Show them the same level of respect in your response. Thanks to advances in science and medicine, HIV can now be effectively managed with regular treatment. When people living with HIV adhere to their treatment regimen, the virus can become undetectable, meaning it’s untransmittable to others.
This allows individuals with HIV to live long, healthy lives, similar to those without the virus. Take some time to educate yourself about HIV, not only about the medical aspects but also about the personal experiences of people living with HIV. The more informed you are, the better equipped you’ll be to support them in your relationship.
One remarkable aspect of being undetectable is that the risk of HIV transmission is virtually eliminated, even during unprotected sex. This concept, often referred to as ‘U=U’ (undetectable equals untransmittable), has been supported by extensive research. Studies have shown that when someone with an undetectable viral load maintains their treatment, the risk of transmitting HIV to their partner is effectively zero.
It’s important to understand that disclosing one’s HIV status is a deeply personal decision, influenced by factors such as trust and past experiences. Each person living with HIV has their own approach to disclosure. Some may prefer to establish emotional connection and trust in the relationship before sharing their status, while others may disclose early on.
The experience of stigma and rejection based on HIV status, along with personal feelings of shame and trauma, can make disclosing to a romantic partner challenging. By sharing their status with you, they’re demonstrating their trust and investment in the relationship. Respond with empathy, understanding, and appreciation for their openness.
Main image: Aidsmap
The post Dear Sis: The person I am seeing just disclosed their HIV status, what now? appeared first on EntertainmentSA News South Africa.
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